


To Love and Be Loved

by scarletcougar



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4614099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletcougar/pseuds/scarletcougar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after.</p><p>“To Love and Be Loved” is an excellent book by Sam Keen about the subject of love and loving. It inspired this fic as did the ship of Kurogane Youou and Fai Yuui de Fluorite. </p><p>Tomoyo: “Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. While You Were Out (part 1)

The clone of Syaoron vanished through a portal as Kurogane’s long leg took the stairs four at a time to the bottom of what was a water reservoir. The true Syaoron backed away, knowing he was a stranger to them all with a familiar face, one that just betrayed them. A beaten and bleeding mage lay sprawled, mostly unconscious, on the ground. His now ripped out eye bore just a bleeding socket. He coughed, spitting some blood. 

Kurogane lifted the sweet form of Sakura into Syaoron’s arms. A firm glare that one step out of line would mean his death, served as his only warning. Syaoron took the young unconscious girl up into the building, following in the wake of the residents, a wary and nervous Mokona now on his shoulder. 

Kurogane carefully turned the blond mage over and checked for a pulse, expecting none. It was faint. He gathered the foolish mage into his arms and lifted. He carried Fai up, up into the building and into a room where the rest of his group gathered. This world’s inhabitants knew so little of healing that Kurogane inwardly worried behind his dark stoic mask. Didn’t he just have a conversation with the tall blond mage about caring for people? Did no one see how much he too cared? Everyone he cared about always left him, died, were killed, taken… somehow gone. Even now. The Syaoron he had taken on like a younger brother or apprentice in the Way of the Sword, lost the essence of his heart and vanished from existence. The delicate flower of a girl lay faded in a bed nearby, possibly withering, likely will without her true Syaoron. And now Fai, the mystery he has been struggling to know since they met, since he was first forbiddenly captivated, lay bleeding in his arms and barely breathed. 

No one heard when he murmured into the bloody-sticky blond hair, “Idiot… why did you do that? You aren’t supposed to throw your life away. Fai… Fai… please… don’t leave me too.” 

Familiar faces, Sakura knew them as her brother and his mage. They were in most worlds they arrived in. And they were always together. They served as rudimentary healers here. One checking on Sakura and the other bandaging the immediate leaking empty eye socket of Fai. Kurogane refused to let Fai out of his arms just yet. Only when they bandaged Fai’s other wounds did he release Fai to a bed. He remained sitting on the bedside though. The darker haired healer, if he could be called that, shook his head sadly. There was nothing more he could do. The message was clear. Fai was not going to make it.

His jaw clenched tight to maintain his composure as his heart hurt like it was being stabbed again and again. He moved the blond hair from Fai’s face, exposing the bandages that were already starting to dot red as blood seeped through. He swallowed and adjusted his seating so he could hold the mage once more in his arms. 

“L-let… let me… go… I want to… die…” The words slurred weakly from Fai’s mouth. “If I die… the magic he stole from me will too. If I live, he will grow strong… dangerous. I’m sorry.” 

“NO! If you really want to die, then I will kill you myself! If you die now,” Kurogane searched for something he knew the mage cared about, searched because he doubted that that thing was him. “If you die, Sakura will be very sad and miss you.” 

Relief came with the dimensional witch. Kurogane had a wish. That wish intensified as Fai’s head rolled with his unconsciousness. He was dying. Kurogane wished for him to live. When the witch informed him that it was a wish she could not grant, he wanted to howl his hatred. But she made a hopeful suggestion. “Warrior, wish for the water for this world since I cannot grant the vampires any wishes. You will pay their price. And in turn, they can grant your wish.” Kurogane looked at them with his ruby eyes. 

He did not need to plead. They saw what few would understand. Kamui stepped forward, not wanting this to be his twin brother’s potential second mistake. “I will grant your wish. I can make him a vampire. He will heal, quicker than normal. Doesn’t mean he is invincible or immortal. He will age, slower than other humans. But he will live.” 

“Do it,” commanded Kurogane, not caring what price he had to pay for Fai’s life. 

The witch stopped them, “The price. Warrior, you will pay the price. Since a vampire must live off of blood and would drink from the masses around him, you will become his bait. You will become the only blood he can drink. He will live only because you do. You will become responsible for what you ask to be created. If he is able to get back all his magic, the missing eye, then you will both be free of this bond. Do you accept this price? To be forever chained to him?” 

“I accept.” He accepted without ever really truly understanding the consequences both good and bad of this, without really understanding what he gained (longer life and the ability to produce blood more swiftly than other humans) or the mixing of souls drinking could cause. “Whatever his past, he came to the witch for help. I trust him.” 

Syaoron handed a black sash he wore to Kurogane, to later wrap Fai’s missing eye. 

So Subaru ushered everyone out while Kamui cut Kurogane’s right arm with a vampiric talon. “No drinking from this arm or it will hurt.” He then cut his own wrist and allowed a few drops of blood to drop upon the cut he gave Kurgane. “Let the blood mix and be swallowed by him.” The dark warrior did as instructed. Blood dropped upon Fai’s lips, chin and into his mouth. His face twitched as more drops fell into his mouth and he swallowed by instinct. Kamui wrapped a quick bandage over Kurogane’s wrist. “Now he will change. You will need to hold him down.” He backed away to supervise the transformation. 

Fai swallowed a few more time. His heart pounded hard and desperate. The strange blood burned down his throat and lit fires through his whole body. He writhed, contorting in agony. He arched in Kurogane’s arms and his eye flew open. The blue winked out for a dark amber as the pupil slitted narrow as a cats in sudden daylight. He screamed. He screamed and writhed more. Kurogane struggled to hold him, keep him from accidentally hurting himself. Now and then murmuring between the screams, “I got you. Fai. I’m here. I got you.” 

Finally after maybe a horror filled twenty minutes, Fai sank to the ground in Kurgane’s embrace. The amber eye resumed its normal sky blue before rolling up as Fai passed out. “It is done. He will live,” Kamui declared as he opened the door. “Let him rest for now. He will need to drink every few days, unless he chooses to die by not drinking.” 

More gently than anyone would have expected him to be, Kurogane tucked Fai into the bed and wrapped anew the now scarring eye socket. Trouble brewed outside and the issue of the water for the reservoir was the next critical item on his agenda. “I still have much to ask him about, but it will have to wait.” 

Water and feather and a quest. Kurogane had to wait as all these happened. He waited, watching Fai. He cleaned him up, and dressed him in sturdy pants and a black turtle neck shirt that was given to him. He didn’t bother to ask for a change of shirt for himself. His remained stained in Fai’s blood. 

An amber slit-pupil eye blinked a couple times as Fai awakened, mostly healed. Kurogane nearly jumped. He nearly jumped again when Fai spoke to him with his usual false smile, “Good morning, Kurogane.” The blond sat up, testing his stability. 

“Don’t move,” ordered Kurogane. He wasn’t sure what kind of person actually awoke. The Fai he knew would never have called him by his full name. Fai always used annoying short versions he made up. This was a more serious Fai, with fewer masks. He didn’t know how to deal with this new Fai as he briefly searched the amber eye, missing its blue hue, wondering if Fai did die and a monster instead was reborn. The smile, though, that was Fai’s. To avoid giving awake how much he actually cared about Fai, he tossed him a blanket and left the room. 

The dimensional witch appeared with Mokona’s help. She wanted to speak to Fai about Kurogane. Fai explained how he said good morning and called him by his full name. He confessed how much fun it was to see him be all flustered by the nicknames. He confessed that he had never called anyone by little nicknames. His slightly shy smile belied his affection for the warrior, an affection he kept buried for the warrior’s own protection. “He revived me when I did not wish it. For this I cannot forgive him. If I do, we’ll just become close again.” He wanted to protect Kurogane from the danger he was and the danger he could become. It was problematic caring for all these people he had been traveling with. Yet, deep down, he could not help it. He resented that he had to stay and rest while Sakura risked her life for part of a payment, for his own life. Deep down, he desperately wanted to care for them. He wanted them to care for him too, to love him. To love… and be loved. His only secret wish before ever he does die. 

Calm, his blue seeped like water back into his eye, although sadness lay in its depths more clearly now without the usual shroud of mirth. When Sakura returned, injured, Fai ran to her. Her honest relief that she returned to him to find him alive, yanked his heart strings. She cared about him. He almost wept there, but for her… for her he smiled. The only form of healing magic that he knew he could actually perform. 

To search on for Sakura’s feathers, her memories. To search on for the other Syaoron and Fai’s missing magical eye. They agreed to travel together again. 

For love… the love they had, the love they lost, and the love they hoped to find.


	2. While You Were Out (part 2)

They jumped now eight worlds searching. At first Fai tried not to drink blood from Kurogane. The resistance made him shaky, disoriented, weak. It frightened Sakura watching him. Kurogane cornered him in a room in the hotel they stayed at and cut his own wrist, allowing the blood to slowly drip through his fingers. Fai’s blue eye instantly flicked amber with a feline slit at the scent. “Drink, or I will simply stand here and let it drip.” He had said so little since Fai and he disagreed about the vampirism. 

He watched Fai’s inner battle, then surrender. “For Sakura,” Fai murmured trying to stick to his decision to not forgive Kurogane. He sank to one knee, taking the bloody wrist in both hands. The fresh scent made him desperate; he lapped up the warm tangy liquid, then sank in his fangs and drank. 

Kurogane remained still, back against the wall not even watching. He too surrendered to Fai’s need. When done, Fai licked the wound and it somewhat healed over. Kurogane wrapped it with a cloth and left the room to check on the kids. Left alone, Fai hugged his arms around himself. Their whole group felt fractured now. There were few smiles to cheer people and give them hope. Few from Sakura and few from Fai. Fai just could not muster the false masks of smiling so often. 

The hours crawled by and Fai gave in to trying to sleep. Over the last few jumps, his nightmares had returned as bad as they were when he first left his home of Celes. Rejuvenated by the fresh blood in his system, Fai was not really tired, but grateful. There won’t be dreams tonight. He closed his eyes to simply rest without really sleeping. 

The door opened and closed. Fai almost opened his eye, but the soft and sure footfalls were familiar. Kurogane. Fai pretended to be out, out asleep. He listened to the warrior approach the bed and stare down at him. Then he felt two fingers carefully and gently move his blond strands from his face. He heard Kurogane whisper, “I’m... sorry…” 

As Kurogane turned to leave, Fai had to open his eye. The room was dark. The street lamp cast poor light, but it was enough for a vampire’s keen heightened senses to see by. He caught a look of a glistening thin damp streak down Kurogane’s cheek, marring the stoic face a second before the tall warrior was fully turned from view. Fai felt a clenching in his chest and took in a breath to ask Kurogane what was wrong, to reach a hand out to maybe stop him from leaving. The door opened and closed. Kurogane was gone, never seeing the outstretched arm of the mage. “Kuro?” The mage’s quiet call was never heard. 

Fai sat up. He sighed and dropped back into the bed. Sleep came in bits between the nightmares. Some nightmares were peppered with the pain of becoming a vampire and the confusion of losing his eye. Others, the usual ones, involved his King Ashura. Walking through silent halls littered with the dead. Fighting the limiting spell of the tattoo upon his back to bind Ashura into sleep. The echoes of his king’s threats ringing in his ears. Or the occasional quiet murmur of Ashura’s guiding world in his ear, forcing in trained repetition, a position of technique. Fai sat bolt up again, sweating. 

He was alone in this dark room. It had happened so rarely that they each had their own rooms. Fai decidedly disliked this. There would be no more sleep tonight with thoughts of Ashura still running through his mind. He worried what insane being the clone Shyaoron was becoming with magic progressively growing and eventually getting out of control. Ashura had to be contained for that reason. It was a fate of all the royals, though usually that would be death. Fai never wanted to become that. He knew he was royal with that fate as a possibility, which is why he rarely used his magic. But as an outcast, he owed his life to Ashura. 

Fai shook his head to try to clear it. He had lived much much longer than Kurogane. He had learned a great many things, though mostly of magic and social interactions. He’d become a master at blending in, lying to slip into a city or culture so he could seek things out and deal with rising problems. His freedom had a price when Ashura claimed him. He learned that price when he was older, old enough to be of service in private ways to his king. A shudder jumped down Fai’s spine and he stood. He knew how to be a lover, and it was problematic when it came time to deal with his king. He could not do what he needed to. He could not kill his king. He loved his king, even if there was sex and manipulation. 

Thankfully, they had only encountered an Ashura once in all the jumps they made over the last year or so since meeting. And that king was deeply focused on someone else. He barely had memories of that dream moon battles. He recalled Kurogane there, lifting him from the high horse. They were warriors together, he the archer in the background and Kurogane his warrior guard. And like many warrior partners in long campaigns, there was the implication that they were lovers. 

That is where Fai’s thoughts about Kurogane got muddled. He walked out of the room on silent bare feet and down the hall to peak into each room. Shyaoron dozed in the hallway on duty and rose to Fai’s slight touch to the shoulder. Fai gave him a cheery smile to encourage him to stay up and watchful. _Poor kid. This Shyaoron was not used to being up long hours on watch. I commend him just the same for his devotion to the princess, though._ Fai opened the door beside Shyaoron and entered the girl’s room. 

Princess Sakura curled on her bed fast asleep. Even in sleep, she seemed a little sad. Actually, especially in sleep, you could see she was sad. She missed her Shyaoron. Fai tried as best he could to be as she remembered him to be, to keep at least one bond in their group stable and strong. He then left her room to check on the last member of their group. 

He almost expected Kurogane’s room to either be empty or locked. It was neither. The tall warrior had given up sleeping on the bed and moved all the blankets to the floor. Fai always wondered why Kurogane preferred sleeping on the floor. He suspected because the beds were never quite long enough and the man’s tanned feet would stick off the end. 

While Kurogane was out asleep, Fai climbed into his bed and watched from the edge, the slow rise and fall of his former friend’s chest. He wondered if things had not happened as they did if they might have become lovers. Their friendship had grown so strong. They had cared so much. There were a variety of small indications that maybe, just maybe, Kurogane might like men and not women. He just could never be sure, and now never would. 

Eight world jumps and Fai’s determination to not forgive Kurogane was faltering. He almost wanted to forgive the man, just to regain that bond and stability of the group. Maybe, also, because he missed him being close. Were they really close? 

A low grumble and grunt came from the black-haired man. Fai reached down and very slowly, so as not to wake him, pressed his hand to Kurogane’s back. Sleep stole him soon after, even though he had not intended on falling asleep in this room, in this bed. It just felt safer here with familiar sounds and a familiar presence.


	3. Hunted and Unwelcome

A low grumble and grunt came from the black-haired man. Fai reached down and very slowly, so as not to wake him, pressed his hand to Kurogane’s back. Sleep stole him soon after, even though he had not intended on falling asleep in this room, in this bed. It just felt safer here with familiar sounds and a familiar presence. 

Kurogane woke early as usual. He had a few good solid hours of sleep. He sat up and stretched, planning on washing and dressing and kicking Shyaoron off to nap some of the morning. He froze mid-stretch to stressed and fitful noises behind him on the bed. He turned around where he was sitting on the floor to see who was in his bed. He already knew, just by the whimpers that it was Fai. So much for fresh blood in Fai’s system to ease the nightmares. 

Another terrible dream. Kurogane rose and sat on the edge of the bed. Fai gripped the pillow tightly in his hand and squirmed to get his feet free of the blankets. Kurogane put a firm hand on Fai’s shoulder and gave him a small shake. “Fai… mage… get up.” 

A blue eye snapped open, wide with near terror, almost ready to scream. He instantly took in the environment and buried his face in the pillow to recompose. Then he turned and sat up. “Thanks Kuroku. You saved me from a giant cloud trying to eat me. It had ten legs and yellow eyes!” 

Kurogane growled and rolled his eyes. “You were in my bed.” 

“You weren’t using it,” defended Fai. 

“Was something wrong with your own?” Grumbled the warrior as he collected clothing and walked into the bathing room, ignoring whatever answer came. 

Fai had to rip his vision away from the cracked open doorway. He slipped out to his own room to likewise change and dress for the day. Again he patted Shyaoron on the shoulder to rouse him as he passed. 

Later that day, Mokona declared that he was ready to take them to another world, after apologizing for the third time that he felt no feather and hoped that the next world had one. With all gear packed, and Mokona having magically swallowed it for storage, they were off through the swirling portal. 

A flickering streak of blue and red fire caused the portal to jiggle as they traveled. Fai new it for his own magic, his by way of the clone Shyaoron. But he never got a chance to say anything. The world they were dropped into was in horror and war! They fell into the middle of the fighting. Well truth was they were thrown in two directions, landing in different parts of the fighting. 

Mokona and Fai and Sakura fell into a clump of battling people near the woods. They beat a hasty retreat into the forest to hide. Fai extending vampiric claws ready to fight if he had to. Mokona spat out a staff that Fai had acquired. That now became his weapon of choice as he defended the princess from harm in their hiding place. 

Shyaoron and Kurogane landed in the midst of fighting near some rocky outcrops. The tall warrior reached instinctively for his sword, one that was not there. His eyes widened in brief shock. He yelled for the cream puff to give him his sword. Then he realized there was only the kid with him. Someone yelled angrily, recognizing Shyaoron. The two then knew what had transpired. The other Shyaoron had already been here. This one, because a target now for the people’s rage. Kurogane grabbed the kid and thrust him rolling across the ground to a crumbled wall. He then swivelled back, every ounce of him ready for the fight. And fight he did with his kicks and fists. He took as much as he gave. He dodged what he could. Without a weapon of his own, however, he had to internally snarl and beat a retreat behind the wall the moment two side of the fighting collided. He used their brief distraction to crouch. 

In his mind he already strategized a route or three. The forest was their best defense. If Fai is with the princess, he would have run with her there. But the forest was across the worst of the fighting. There would be no straight route there, not without his sword. Mokona could not be far, must also be just within those woods. He knew this because he and Shyaoron still understood each other. He pointed to a rocky outcrop, “Hey kid, can you get there?” At Shyaoron’s nod, he gave a feral grin, “Good. I’m gonna have some fun. I’ll be there soon.” He jumped up to be a distraction, at least enough of one for the kid to break in a flat fast run. The flat of a blade to the face brought Kurogane to the ground, but was still not enough to really take him down. His return kick broke bone. Then Kurogane also ran, hating that he was retreating. If only he had his sword. 

A fighter on a horse pursued the tall warrior. He had to swallow his pride and dive behind Shyaoron, he wielded his own magical sword. _Great, I’m being defended by the kid._ He hoped no one else from their group could see this. It was insulting enough. Shyaoron fought well, now that he had the time to draw his blade, but there lacked still much skill. He fought on instinct and determination. He fought because he had to. The real difference from the kid Kurogane knew was that this Shyaoron did not remotely flinch at the idea that he might have to kill. This Shyaoron cut down horse and man without a second thought, because he had to for them both to live. Now they each had something they would never tell the others about. 

Kurogane pointed to the next rocky outcrop and they bolted again, chased all the way there. Shyaoron dropped to a knee and flung out a spell of flames that drove their pursuers back. They both hid once more. This was going to be the long way to the forest. Running up the steep mountain was out of the question.  It wasn’t even a possible question if they could not get to the mountain. 

A strange sound pulled Kurogane to look over the bounlders. There were no fighters. Why did they hang back? The sound accompanies a glimmer in the sky. Kurogane looked up to see a glass bottle with a flaming rag within. He grabbed Shyaoron and threw him then dove out of the way on top of the kid to protect him. Rock and rubble showered painfully upon him, adding to the day’s new collection of bruises and strained muscles. He grunted and gritted his teeth. Shyaoron curled in the tiniest ball under him. “Kid, when I say run,” he growled, “Run to the mountain. Don’t stop. Don’t look back.” 

“Only look ahead,” Shyaoron spoke solemly. He understood that Kurogane might be making a sacrifice here for his life so he may continue to protect the princess. “Kurogane, don’t die.” 

Kurogane was shocked that this kid remembered those early words. A wolfish grin flickered for a second on his lips. “I can’t die. I need to get home. And…” 

“And Fai needs you.” 

The dark warrior grunted. “Ya… Fai needs me.” A second blast brought another painful shower of stone. “Run!” 

The kid bolted out from under the warrior. Kurogane reared up from the rubble terrifying the incoming attackers as he joined the fight once more. The second he got a break, he again ran, cowardly as it was to run. He had no weapon still, and he promised not to die, for Fai. Again, he hid behind the flaming sword bearing kid. Again, more bombs flew at them. They ran again, almost at the woods. There was another rocky outcrop, at the edge of their destination. A bomb hit stone close enough to throw them to the ground. A small boulder impacted with Kurogane’s stomach. He recoiled and flowed as best he could to absorb the impact. That would hurt a great deal later. There was no time to let it hurt now. They ran one last time for the safety of the trees. 

“Kurogane? Are you alright?” asked Shyaoron. 

The usual grunt was his answer. “Nothing’s broken,” Kurogane finally assured the kid. The fighting continued in the fields. Their strange arrival was already forgotten by those fighting due to so much blood and chaos. They moved a little deeper into the woods. 

“We need to find the others.” 

Kurogane almost stated the same thing. A distant calling caught his attention. A shock of blond hair in the woods and the glaring white of wizarding clothes. Kurogane wasn’t sure if he was intensely glad to see Fai alive, or furious that the mage hadn’t done SOMETHING about his clothing. _He looks like a damned target!_

The sounds of fighting growing closer spurred them all to find shelter and hiding in the deeper part of the woods. Sakura called out that she found a cave. With a little more exploration as night fell, they discovered that they had indeed found a well hidden cave, part of an old abandoned mine, not far from a little stream. Mokona woke long enough to provide them with some of their belongings, sleeping supplies and cooking supplies and some of the food they carried for provisions. 

Shyaoron built a fire. In the light, it was clear he had been wounded. The bruised and the cut on his cheek were swollen. Kurogane took a basin to the stream along with their water canteens. Fai followed along, trying to chatter lightly in the tones Kurogane knew were false. He growled at the mage to take the basin back and make sure Shyaoron’s wounds were washed. With no healer, they had to keep such things very clean. Infections would kill otherwise. 

Fai stood holding the basin of water. His nose had picked up the scent of blood on the warrior. The false grin evaporated to a serious look. “You too. I’ll wash your wounds too when you come back.” He left no room for Kurgane to protest. 

Kurogane wasn’t even intending to protest. He just wanted the kid treated first. He passed everyone a canteen of fresh water. “So, when is the meat bun going to get us out of here? Clearly the kid ain’t here and nor is there any feather.” 

Fai sat beside him and waved his hand gesturing at the warrior’s torn shirt. “Off… take it off. Mokona needs to rest. We have done lots of short jumps.” He gasped slightly at the sight before him as Kurogane removed his stained shirt. “Is anything broken?” He hadn’t intended on so much concern creeping into his voice as it did. 

“Nah. I’m strong. Takes a lot more to take me down. Was kinda fun, just would have been much better if I only had a sword. This is getting ridiculous not having it if we get split up.” He grumped as Fai washed all the scrapes and cuts on Kurogane’s back and shoulders and chest. His fingers ghosted over the deep purple spreading across the well-formed abdominal muscles. They rippled and Kurogane hissed a warning. “Still hurts, mage! Wish you would just use your magic to fix it.” 

Fai turned away. “I can’t. Even if I wanted to. I don’t know any healing magic.” 

“Oh right, you learned other… stuff…” Kurogane was especially grouchy when injured and it came it in needling ways. “Like in Koryo, you suggested torture, that kind of magic?” He regretted his words as Fai flinched away from him. 

Fai quietly snapped back, “You serve a princess Tomoyo. I am sure you did things just because she told you to.” He took a breath and clawed for his false masks to present to the others. 

The masks shattered in startlement as a hand firmly grabbed his arm. “I killed. You? You did to.” Ruby eyes burned into Fai. “You served that King… Ashura… then trapped him. You know he will break free and kill you. If you want to die so badly, why bother running? Why even try to live? Why inspire others to live or care? Why care at all?” 

Fai hated how Kurogane saw too true, saw too deep. He could not answer that stare that bore into his soul. “It’s… complicated. Didn’t you… don’t you love your Tomoyo? Even if you hate and fear her?” 

Fai’s questions answered more than Kurogane had expected. He released the mage who almost fled. Kurogane thought hard about those questions. Complicated. Love and hate. The mage was wrong. Kurogane did not love Tomoyo, not any more than any subject loved their ruler. He had hated her, but not the kind of hate where he would want to disobey or kill her or do her any sort of harm, especially not entrap her. And he never, not once, ever feared her. But Fai’s questions told of the relationship Fai had with his Ashura. A man loved a man. Fai loved, perhaps deeply in some twisted victimized way, loved Ashura, but also hated him and was truly terrified of him. Maybe Fai didn’t have enough courage or enough strength to kill this king. Maybe Fai loved him still. Maybe this king used and abused Fai, using sex to confuse the mage into thinking it was love. Maybe it was forced all along. Fai did have some victim-like behaviour. Fai was wrong about Kurogane’s relationship with Tomoyo. But Kurogane was quite sure he was right about Fai’s relationship with Ashura. And there bloomed a hate he could kill for. If they ever returned to Celes, Kurogane swore that if Fai could not kill this Ashura, he would. 

This running into worlds that recognized Shyaoron was problematic and dangerous. It meant they were unwelcome at best, hunted at worst. Before they jumped to the next world, it was Shyaoron who made the strangest suggestion. “I could dress like a girl again.”


End file.
